There’s No Eliminating Distress
We all have the desire to live a life free of pain and distress, but that's not possible. If you want to be healthy and happy, you need to learn how to deal with your emotions as they come up, instead of trying to avoid them or numbing yourself. The goal of therapy is to help prevent distress from becoming dysfunction and upending our lives.
You can't take all your bad feelings away.
You might be thinking there’s a way to eliminate distress, but the simple fact is that you can’t do it. You can’t take away all your bad feelings. Emotions are natural and part of being human, and trying to avoid your emotions will only end up making you feel worse in the long run. So instead of trying to push away every unpleasant emotion that arises—or trying to justify why they should go away—it's better to accept them as part of life.
Accepting your emotions means letting yourself feel uncomfortable when things don't go your way. It doesn't mean wallowing in self-pity, it just means giving yourself permission not only to experience negative feelings but also acknowledge them as real parts of who you are.
Recognize that you aren't your emotions.
One of the most important things we can do for ourselves when we feel uncomfortable is to remember that our emotions are not who we are. They're just passing through, like the weather. Emotions provide us signals into what we're experiencing and while they're a part of us, they do not define all of who we are. It's an easy thing to forget, especially when emotions are overwhelming us and it feels like they'll never go away. But they will if you give them some space and let them pass.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not suggesting that you should sit around with your feelings of distress until they go away on their own. You don't have to wait until it passes naturally; instead, actively work towards finding out what's causing your discomfort so that you can make changes in your life based on those findings. However, recognizing that emotions aren't who we are can help us see situations more clearly and take control of our emotional lives in a healthy way—rather than letting our feelings dictate how we act or react all the time
The more you let yourself feel, the easier it will become.
Learning how to accept and manage your emotions is a skill that can be learned in therapy, but it takes time. If you're feeling overwhelmed by feelings of shame or self-judgment, consider reaching out for professional help. Confronting challenging emotions can feel overwhelming and frightening, especially if you did not have role models to teach you. With proper guidance you can come to integrate the parts of yourself that need soothing in a way that promotes growth and stability.
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You can't avoid the fact that we all feel distress at times. However, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with having feelings, and there are ways to manage them so they don't control your life or prevent you from living it fully. The key is accepting your feelings and learning how to handle them in productive ways instead of trying to get rid of them altogether! To start your journey schedule your free consultation call today!
