Intellectualization and Self-Compassion
You were likely brought up in a culture where intellectualism was valued over emotion. You were taught that logic and rationality are the keys to success and happiness in life. However, it’s important to recognize that intellectualization is something different than being intelligent. In fact, putting yourself on a pedestal based on your “rationality” can do more harm than good when it comes to dealing with stress and anxiety.
Intellectualization is used to create safety in situations that aren't black or white by over-relying on logic and rationality.
Intellectualization is a way of thinking that can be harmful when done in excess. It’s not always bad, but it’s often used as a defense mechanism because it makes you feel safer when life gets muddy. Intellectualism often leads people to avoid emotions and feelings when they are in situations that don't have black and white solutions. Instead, they rely on logic and reasoning to make decisions based on the facts at hand.
This may seem like an effective way of dealing with problems at first glance, but if we look closer at this type of approach then we see that intellectualization does not always mean that you are getting closer to solving the situations that exist in the grey world of feeling and emotion.
Being detached from your emotions, thoughts, and worries is a harmful coping mechanism.
It’s a common coping mechanism for people experiencing mental health issues and trauma, but intellectualization is not a good way to deal with problems. It doesn’t work in the long term because it fails to address the issue at hand, which can lead to more complicated problems down the line.
Intellectualization involves detaching yourself emotionally from an event or thought that causes distress by focusing on its details and analyzing it objectively, as if it were happening to someone else (or even as if it isn’t happening at all). This may sound good in theory—who hasn’t wanted to think about something else instead of their own problems? But in reality, intellectualization is just another form of avoidance. If you find yourself doing this often or on a regular basis, you lose the opportunity to connect with and provide yourself the self-compassion that's needed to overcome these events.
The emotional, empathetic side of you is declining in tandem with your logical brain being put on a pedestal.
This can cause you to act in ways that are out of alignment with your feelings, leading to a disconnect between what you think and what you feel. For example, if you’re feeling sad but don’t recognize it, or if something is making you angry but it doesn't register as anger in your mind, then this can lead to maladaptive behavior patterns that negative impact your personal relationships .
When the emotional side of yourself is neglected, there is an imbalance created within yourself. This imbalance leads us down paths where we are not able to empathize with others or ourselves. We become detached from our own emotions—as well as those of others—and fail to connect with others on a meaningful level without putting effort into doing so.
Self-compassion helps balance out our intellectual pursuits by encouraging us to slow down enough so that we can notice our own emotions without giving them too much power over us; instead, allowing them simply be part of who we are rather than defining who we are (as happens when one neglects their emotional self).
As hard it is to face yourself emotionally, self-compassion will help you more than overthinking will!
Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. In fact, it’s a necessary component of emotional intelligence. As hard as it may be to accept your emotions and their impact on your life, self-compassion will help you more than overthinking will!
Self-compassion is about being kind to yourself when you are suffering. It doesn't mean giving up or being weak—it means understanding that no one is perfect and everyone experiences suffering from time to time, including yourself.
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The best way to avoid being too intellectual is to be more self-compassionate. It’s easier said than done, but if you can muster the courage to break the cycle of intellectualization, then you will be better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you. And if that wasn’t enough, self-compassion also helps us connect with others on a deeper level which makes us more empathetic and compassionate individuals overall! If you're ready to start your healing journey, set up your free consultation today.
